the unexpected stay at home mom

happy holidays

maggie's christmas

gabriel's christmas

1st haircut

happy halloween!

seeking balance

as i mentioned in my last post, i decided to go back to work. just like my original decision back in december to become a SAHM, it wasn't an easy one to make. however, it was far less agonizing this time. now that i've experienced the grass in both fields, i know which one is truly greener (for me). 

i follow quite a few mommy blogs, and there is one popular blogger who just oozes rainbows and butterflies even when she's trying to demonstrate how not perfect her life really is. she takes gorgeous photos of her girls daily (dressed in the most adorable outfits), every day is an adventure and she has no doubt that she was born to be a mother. she's a great writer, and usually i find her inspiring. but sometimes i want to punch her in the face.

i'll admit it. i'm jealous. i wish, for my kids sake, that i were that kind of mom. i wish i could cart around my kids in a minivan, wearing stilettos, and be damn proud of it. i wish i were satisfied with spending my days at the zoo or on play dates, at the pool or the playground, finger painting and blowing bubbles, playing dress-up and tea party. i enjoyed doing those things with my kids. just not all the time. honestly, i found myself resenting my kids for sucking up all of my time, energy and independence. i know a lot of SAHM's find other outlets to alleviate those kind of thoughts, but i personally struggled to find an identity outside of being "just a mom". 

so when things changed on the career front for my husband (more on that later), it seemed like a good time for me to seriously consider going back to work fulltime. my skillset and background are still in high-demand, even in this economy, so things happened a lot more quickly than i had anticipated. i wanted to spend some time exploring all my options, but i had three great offers within two weeks of deciding i was back in the market, and started two weeks after that. 

now i'm a working momma again. and i promised myself that things would be different this time. my family comes first, and i make sure that everyone at work understands that. i have plenty of paid time off, and i will not feel guilty about using it. i will pay a lot of money to improve my family's quality of life, and i will not feel guilty for doing so.

 i recently took a morning off work to go on maggie's preschool field trip to the pumpkin farm

three weeks ago...

mags started preschool. and i went back to working full-time. i promise more on that later. but just wanted everyone to know why i haven't been able to find the time to blog lately. everyone is happy, healthy and adjusting well to the new routine. although the "routine" is about to be shaken up once again very soon in a crazy way. cryptic, i know. i'll share more on that later, too. happy weekend, friends.

homemade finger paints

cheap, easy and joyfully messy. homemade finger paints were a huge hit. make some now. i promise your kids will love it.

ingredients:
1/2 cup cornstarch
2 cups water
liquid food coloring

directions: mix cornstarch and water in a saucepan. bring to a boil while continuously whisking until the mixture thickens into a milky gel-like consistency. allow to cool, separate into small glass containers, then add food coloring to achieve desired colors.

cheese!

back from vacation and feeling a little behind

1 week in florida. 3 weeks since my last blog post. 4 loads of laundry. 8 overdue library books. 563 unread items in my google reader. 642 vacation photos just downloaded from my camera. here are just a few.

cooking with maggie

maggie loves to help me in the kitchen. however, if you've ever tried cooking with a toddler, you know that it usually takes at least twice as long with three times the mess afterwards. it's definitely an exercise in patience, but she enjoys it so much that i try to embrace the experience.

the other day, i was making pickles from a huge harvest of home-grown cucumbers that my mom gave me, and i let maggie make her own batch. i gave her some sliced cucumbers, salt and pepper shakers, a cup of water and a spoon and let her go at it. after about 15 minutes of mixing, dunking and sprinkling, she took a taste and declared, "mmmmm... it's tasty! <gulp>". i see an oscar in this girl's future.

dol go im templates

i have gotten a few emails asking for templates for the dol go im that i made for gabriel's dol. so here you go:

tiger dol go im (download pdf)
chook dol dol go im (download pdf)

these are slightly modified from templates that i found on korean1stbirthday.com. i highly recommend you check out this site for your dol planning. a lot of great inspiration!